


Each Man Kills The Thing He Loves

by JayEz



Series: It Started In The Hallway [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adultery, F/M, M/M, lots of feels, non-graphic het!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-21
Updated: 2013-10-05
Packaged: 2017-12-27 06:01:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/975287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayEz/pseuds/JayEz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years after the events of “In A Mirror, Darkly“, Harry and Draco are growing apart. So when Astoria Greengrass shows interest in Draco, of course he is susceptible to her advances. With dramatic consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unfaithful

**Author's Note:**

> **DISCLAIMER:** I have learned that very few people like the **adultery trope** with this pairing. However, it felt unnatural to me to let them live happily ever after just yet and I owed it to my characters who inspired these two last parts. But if you don't like that trope, save yourself from anger and disappointment (and me from pure non-constructive criticism) and don't go on. 
> 
> *
> 
> I actually wrote this before I finished part II, III and IV. I was currently continuing the Hallway-verse after I had abandoned it for a few months when I was working out at the gym and my iPod jumped to Lea Michelle‘s version of “Jar of Hearts“. I suddenly had this vision of Harry and Draco, years after It Started In The Hallway, growing apart and Draco being unfaithful.  
> It turned into an obsession. This also was the moment I decided to turn the fic into a multi-part verse, fyi :)
> 
>  **Title** inspired by the poem “The Ballad Of Reading Gaol” by Oscar Wilde. Best poem ever!
> 
> Appropriate music for part V and VI: “Jar of Hearts“ and “It‘s All Coming Back To Me Now“ from Glee. At least that‘s what was playing on repeat while I was writing this :)
> 
> It‘s the year 2007 in my head-canon, so Teddy is 9. 
> 
> Million thanks to [ vernie_klein](http://archiveofourown.org/users/vernie_klein/pseuds/vernie_klein), who hates me for part V and VI but stayed on as my beta anyway <3

Draco was still starring at the headline of that day’s Daily Prophet. “ _GREEDY GREG GETS SEVEN YEARS_ ,” it read. 

He should have felt something, some sort of satisfaction, some sort of accomplishment. It had been his work, his and Ron’s and Harry’s that had made sure the biggest financial con artist the Wizarding World had seen these past years was now safely behind bars and a lot of people would get their money back. 

Positive emotion, however, didn’t come easily to him at the moment. 

If you believed the papers, Draco was leading the most joyous life imaginable. Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived Again, and Draco Malfoy, the reformed Death Eater, the poster-couple for the magical LGBT community, were enjoying their happily ever after. They had their beautifully re-decorated house at Grimmauld Place, Harry’s godson was growing up splendidly, he, Harry and Ron were the Auror department’s most famous – or rather infamous – members and were surviving dangerously thrilling fights on a regular basis. They were everyone’s darlings. 

If you believed the papers. 

If you didn’t you’d see a completely different picture. 

Draco couldn’t remember when exactly things had changed. It probably had been too gradual to notice: The way Harry and he had settled into a routine that soon became a rut. Taking care of Teddy took a lot of energy from both of them, even after they had left Andromeda‘s death behind them. The more time Harry spent with his godson, however, the less time he spent with Draco. Not that he couldn’t understand Harry’s wish to be the parent that he himself never had. 

Still, it hurt.

Especially considering how Draco had always been there for Harry in the months after they had adopted the little boy, only to be slowly but surely abandoned by the Boy Who Lived Again.

Draco, in his darker moments, sometimes felt as alone as he’d been after his failed attempt to kill Dumbledore. Surrounded by people and still alone. 

And then, after years in prison, his father died. 

It shouldn’t have hit Draco as hard as it did; after all he hadn’t seen his father since Lucius had told him to get out that Christmas Day in his second seventh year.

Nevertheless, Draco had probably always carried some remaining shred of hope that one day; his father would forgive him and not treat him like the biggest disappointment of his life. 

Harry presumed Draco wanted to grief alone. Draco had never needed Harry’s support more than during that time but he wasn‘t able to bring himself to actually ask Harry for help. Harry had been so distracted lately; a separate case, one he was working on top of everything else, and Harry had been keeping to himself more often than usual. 

So there Draco sat, staring blankly at the paper. 

He could hear Teddy awaken and figured that Harry would be back any minute now from his morning flight. Draco was still running in the morning. Harry prepared breakfast and they’d eat together, Harry would take his broom out for half an hour of exercise during which Draco would watch just-awakened Ted eat a healthy breakfast until Harry joined them again. Then, their kid went off to school and they would go to work. 

Five days of the week. 

And once in a while, when Draco was lucky, he could even get Harry to have sex with him again. 

XXX

In retrospect, he guessed, Draco should have seen it coming. 

He should have, that first day that he went to the Department of Magical Cooperation and met Astoria Greengrass and she was pleasantly talking to him and complimenting him. They recognised each other - they had been attending school together after all. 

Draco was consulting with wizards from Arabia who were having problems with Dark Magic and secret organisations just like Britain used to have. Astoria was in charge of setting up meetings, keeping Kingsley in the loop and overseeing the entire operation. Which also meant spending a lot of time with Draco. 

What Draco did soon realise was that Astoria was quite obviously flirting with him – when they were alone, mostly. He didn’t feel the least bit guilty about enjoying the attention, especially since it had been weeks since he had had any kind of genuine moment with the Boy Who Lived To Take Draco For Granted. 

The guilt did come. But not until after Astoria had kissed him and Draco had kissed her back. 

So now, he was pacing in front of one of the fires at Grimmauld Place. Ted was doing homework and Harry still wasn’t home. 

It was almost nine and Draco still hadn’t made heads and tails (he had Muggle expressions down to an art now, by the way) of the mess he’d gotten himself into when he heard Harry return. 

“Hey, love,” he said and kissed Draco’s cheek. “What are you up to?”

“Brainstorming,” Draco replied smoothly. He might be an Auror but he was still a Slytherin to the bone and could lie without missing a beat. 

“I’ll leave you to it, then,” Harry said and was already moving towards the door. “I’m just going to take a shower and head to bed, okay? I’m burnt out.”

Draco felt himself nod. “Don’t wait up.”

And Harry, he knew, wouldn’t. 

XXX

Hermione would know what to do, know what to say, Draco was sure. She was the one constantly urging him to pull Harry out of his reserve; she was the one who knew how Draco was feeling.

If anyone had told him back when he was 15 that Hermione Granger would be his personal confidante, he’d have cursed them into the following year. 

But Draco didn’t go to Hermione – at least not until it was too late. 

“What’s wrong?” the witch immediately asked when Draco stepped out of the fire. Ron was nowhere to be seen, he was on stakeout duty as the Slytherin knew all too well. 

“I-“ Draco couldn’t say it. But he had to or else he was going to explode. He sunk back against the fireplace and closed his eyes. 

“What happened, Draco?!”

He made himself look at Hermione. He wondered whether the witch that had single-handedly reformed the legislation for Magical Creatures would catch up on her own.

“I just came back from the Ministry. I had a meeting with Astoria about the delegation from Iran next week.”

It was probably his guilty look that finally gave him away. 

Hermione’s eyes went wide. “You’re saying you…. and her?”

Draco nodded and cast his eyes to the ground. “I- we… we had sex.” 

It proofed just how great a friend the witch had become over these past years that the first thing she did was neither shout nor accuse him but pull him into a hug. 

She made tea and sat Draco down on the sofa, the one he had been sitting on next to Harry when they had told their best friends that they’d take Teddy to a therapist. 

She considered him for a long moment before she asked, “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. It shouldn’t have happened. I’m with Harry.”

Hermione smiled. “You and I both know that it’s more complicated than that.”

“But it really isn’t, is it?” Draco jumped up, suddenly full of rage – rage directed at himself. “Harry and I, we’re together, we’re the real thing, aren’t we? The perfect couple, the Wizarding world’s Romeo and Juliette and yes, Hermione, I bloody well know it’s a Muggle metaphor.” He breathed out angrily. “We’ve got our happily ever after and I go and ruin it, me, the adulterous ferret that I am.” 

Hermione approached him tentatively when he had calmed down somewhat. “Let me tell you a secret,” she said. “Something that Ron and I have never told you before.”

Draco raised an eyebrow and aimed for sarcasm to restore some sort of normalcy to prevent him from losing his mind. “I really don’t want the mental pictures of your and your husband’s twisted sex life, Hermione.”

“It’s nothing like that.” She considered him for a moment as if wondering if she should go on. “I actually betrayed Ron once.”

“You?”  
“Yes. The three of you had been gone for almost a month on that undercover mission, the one with the vampires, do you remember?” 

Draco nodded. He also remembered some seriously bad-arsed vampire staking on his and Harry’s and Ron’s part and some rather erotic experimentation with blood-play during the nights. Those had been good times. 

“I was really missing him and Ron never wrote, you know? Then, one night, after work, a colleague of mine said we should head out for a drink and one drink became five or six and before I knew it, I was following him home and… You can imagine the rest.”

“How did the Weasel take it?” 

“It took a while but Ron accepted it and forgave me.”

“You actually told him?”

“Of course. I mean, if he can’t forgive the person he promised his love in good times and in bad, is that really the person he should be together with until death does us part?”

Draco felt himself nodding. “So I should tell our Boy Wonder.” 

“I think so. And nice Muggle expression, Draco.”

Draco did the best impression of a smirk he could muster, hugged Hermione, thanked her and flooed home. 

XXX

After eight years of spending almost every waking and sleeping moment with Gryffindors, Draco figured some of their courage should have rubbed off on him by now. 

It clearly hadn’t since Draco continuously postponed telling Harry. It was Harry’s own fault. He left Draco and Ted alone over the next weekend because of that mysterious case, the only warning having been, “Love, could you take care of Ted alone over this weekend?”

And if Harry wasn’t there, Draco couldn’t tell him. 

So he dropped Ted off at Quidditch practice (because every kid needed a hobby and there was no way Draco would let Ted take up soccer like Harry had suggested) and thought about heading over to George at Diagon Alley to check if there were any novelties on the market when he heard someone call his name. 

It was Astoria Greengrass. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked rather harshly. 

“Don’t worry, Draco, I’m not stalking you. I’m taking my nephew to Quidditch practice while my sister is enjoying the weekend with her husband in Hawaii.”

“They have their love retreat and you get the annoying kid? I’m glad I’m an only child.”

Astoria laughed and Draco hated to admit how good it felt that someone was really listening and appreciating his wit and sarcasm. Astoria even liked his sneers and rude remarks he still couldn’t ban from his vocabulary. 

And yes, he and Astoria did end up back at her place. She sucked him off in her living room and then he fucked her again in her bedroom and they were still five minutes early when they came to pick up their respective cubs from practice. 

XXX

March spilled into April and April into May and Draco still hadn’t said anything. 

Harry was immersed more and more with the case and the time he didn’t spend working on it he spent with Ted and Draco found that by the first week of May he was spending more time with Astoria than with Harry. 

Granted, she and him still were working together but they stayed longer and longer and found excuses to meet up after hours. 

Draco wasn’t falling for the woman, he wished that he could. It would be simple: Fall out of love with the Boy Who Lived To Make His Live Miserable and fall in love with a nobody who laughed at his jokes and made love to him on a regular basis. 

But then Harry would say something like “I love you” or kiss him passionately, and even seduce him again and Draco couldn’t help but admit that he’d love Harry until the day he died. Even if they were drifting apart. 

Draco thought that Harry believed it, too, that all the sincere conversations he was initiating, so reminiscent of the times in the Room of Requirement when Harry had told Draco all of his secrets, were a means of repairing the damage that time had inflicted. 

Then came that night on May, 15th, that was to be the beginning of the end. 

It was a Tuesday. Draco was putting away the dishes, it was his turn and Harry was taking Ted to bed. It had been a pleasant dinner, almost as it once used to be. Draco should have seen that as a sign of foreboding. 

For when Harry returned, he watched Draco closely. Draco put the last mug into a drawer and shut the door, then turned to face his... partner? Harry wore a scrutinising expression as if he was trying to use a Revealing Charm on Draco. 

Years as an Auror and the lessons his father had taught him let Draco keep his calm and school his expression. He looked as innocent as a house-elf. 

“Draco, I need to ask you something.”

Draco actually smiled. He was sporting no sign of unease despite the fact that inside, he was panicking. 

“What is it?”

“Are you having an affair?”

“What makes you ask that?” The look of utter confusion on Draco’s face seemed to faze Harry. Why wasn’t he being honest? Hadn’t he been trying to for the past two and a half months?

“It’s just… a feeling I have. You’re not even trying to initiate sexual contact anymore.”

“And you immediately accuse me of adultery?”

Harry looked rueful and Draco mentally cursed himself. Tell him. Now. 

Now.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t see the anger in Harry’s face, the disappointment, the hurt. Not in Harry’s, too. 

“Sorry. I… is it something else? Are you okay? It’s not… you aren’t sick, are you?”

Draco shook his head and moved towards the other man. 

“No, I’m not. Just exhausted. Another delegation’s scheduled for next week and it’s a lot of stress. A lot of pressure.”

He brought his arms around Harry and they kissed, slowly, and Draco knew that he had to end it. He wanted this, exactly this: The Boy Who Lived Again in his arms. 

That, and the spectacular sex that followed. 

XXX

Astoria took it well. Draco fathomed she had known it was only a fling on his part but still, there was something in her eyes that even some sort of regret couldn’t explain. 

That night, when Harry came home and Draco was already in bed, reading, he pinned Harry into to mattress and gave his Chosen One the best blow job he had ever received and afterwards, they fell asleep in each other’s arms. 

They exchanged their respective exercise regimes for a round of morning sex and a week later, things were looking up. 

Hermione was still a bit angry that he had lied straight to Harry’s face but seemed happy that her best friends were getting back to their normal selves. 

XXX

The meeting had gone perfectly. The collaboration contracts had been signed, their guests from Russia were smiling when they left and everyone was perfectly happy. 

It had been the last huge project that Draco and Astoria had been working on, come Monday Draco would be back in the field, chasing dark wizards. 

“Draco, could you stay another moment? There are still some papers I need you to sign,” Astoria said as Kingsley left and Draco made to follow him. 

“Certainly,” he nodded and wished the Minister a pleasant evening. Draco knew he had signed every single one of the 74 forms that he had been required to. He figured that Astoria simply wanted to say good-bye. 

After the door had closed, he turned towards the blonde. 

“You and I both know that every other form I’d have to sign would have to be invented first,” he smirked but dropped it as soon as he saw the serious expression on Astoria’s face. “Don’t tell me: They invented one?” he tried again. 

Astoria’s lips curled up for a second, then she took a few steps towards him and sighed heavily. 

“Draco, I have some news to tell you.”

The tone of her voice didn’t bode well. Draco felt reminded of the moment that Lucius had told him the Dark Lord wanted to see him personally. He swallowed hard as he waited for the witch to go on. 

“I… Bugger, there’s no easy way to say it.” She sounded exasperated. 

“What is it?” Draco asked although he truly didn’t want to know. 

Astoria considered him for a long moment before she whispered the words that would turn Draco’s world upside down. 

“I’m pregnant.”

For a minute, Draco couldn’t respond. His mind was reeling off several versions of what was to come, how he could try to hide it, how Astoria could abort, how he told Harry, how Harry would look so hurt and disappointed, how Harry would throw him out… 

This was not happening. This could not be happening. 

“Are you sure?”

“It’s the second month that I didn’t have my period. So I did a test. It’s true. I’m with child.”

Draco opened his mouth but Astoria seemed to be reading his thoughts. “And I’m not having an abortion. That’s final.”

“Are you sure it’s mine?”

Astoria looked offended. “There’s only been you.”

Draco’s jaw snapped shut. He felt his life crumbling down around him. If he kept his fatherhood a secret, paid alimony, there was no way the press wouldn’t find out. And Harry would kill him if he found out through the papers. He’d probably not even use magic to do it.

Could he even keep it a secret? Could he look Harry in the eye, day after day, and lie through his teeth? He was great at lying but this was Harry. This was the man who had saved Draco after the war. Harry deserved better than this. Harry deserved a partner who didn’t cheat on him in the first place.

“What are we going to do?” Astoria finally asked. 

Draco remained in silent contemplation. 

“I can’t raise it on my own. I need to work. But I can’t work and take care of a child.”

Sighing heavily, he looked up and met Astoria’s eyes. “Don’t worry about the money. You’re lucky you chose a wealthy Malfoy to have an affair with.”

Astoria seemed relieved – until another thought occurred to her. “Are you going to… are you going to tell Harry?”

“I don’t know yet. I’ll…. I’ll get back to you on that.”

Astoria nodded and fled the room while Draco sank back against a wall and slid down onto the floor. 

He had actually managed to make the best of his life and now he had brought on his own downfall.

Stoically, he went back to his office and left for home. He dropped Ted off at Ron’s and Hermione’s like they’d agreed on a few days ago and returned to Grimmauld Place. 

He lit the fire in the main living room, pulled out one of the last bottles of his father’s finest firewhiskey and started brooding. 

When Harry finally returned home, he found Draco still sitting in the same spot, a glass with amber fluid in his hand. Draco could only imagine how eerie he had to look. 

He didn’t care. He knew he owed it to Harry to come clean even though it meant losing this forever. 

A small part of him still hoped for the Gryffindor in Harry to forgive him but he knew his chances were slim. 

“Draco? What are you doing? This looks like a scene from a cheap movie.” Harry switched the lights on with a flicker of his wand and froze as he saw Draco’s expression. 

“What happened?” 

“We need to talk.”

Harry flinched as though Draco had hit him and it burnt in Draco’s chest to see it and know that it wouldn’t be the worst to come.

Harry’s jaw set. Draco noted that the man still had his wand in his hand. 

“Then talk.”

He drew a deep breath, looked up at Harry and back into the flames, setting his glass down. He was fighting the urge to flee with all his might; he couldn’t look into those emerald eyes. 

“Do you remember when you accused me of having an affair?” Draco saw Harry nod out of the corner of his eye. “And me telling you that I wasn’t?”

“It was a lie. I know.”

At that, Draco’s head snapped up. “What?”

“They’re not considering me as the next head of the Auror Department because of my good looks, Draco. I can put two and two together and come up with four.”

“How long have you known?” 

“Ever since the stain of red wine on your shirt. It was covering lipstick stains.”

Draco remembered. He hadn’t bothered magicking his shirt clean that night for he thought that the wine would hide any trace of Astoria’s lipstick. That was three weeks ago. A week before Draco had told Harry he wasn’t having an affair. 

Draco’s eyes narrowed and bloody hell, why could Harry still read him so well?

“I knew you were lying but I wanted to see how long you’d keep it up. So I played along.” 

Draco nodded and looked at the fire again. 

“Is that all you wanted to tell me?” Harry was still standing at the other end of the room. 

Draco shook his head. “It’s… It’s become more complicated.”

“Are you leaving me?”

Draco was out of his seat suddenly. “No!” 

“Then what is it?” Harry took a few steps forward. 

“She’s pregnant.”

Draco watched the emotions pass over Harry’s face. Confusion, realisation, hurt. Disappointment. Anger. 

“And she said she’s keeping it. But she can’t afford it on her own.” 

He couldn’t continue. Not with Harry looking at him like that, like his father had in Azkaban that Christmas Day. 

He turned to the fireplace and put his arms on top of it. 

“How long?” Harry finally asked. 

“Since March.”

“I thought you loved me.”

Draco whirled around. “I do!”  
“You have a funny way of showing that!” Harry was angry now. But Draco was getting angry, too. All the frustration, all the loneliness he had endured while Harry was off doing something else was resurfacing. 

“Says the man who basically ignored my existence!”

“When did I ever do that?”

“When you are working on your special case. Cases, I don’t care. I‘m here and you aren’t paying me any attention, all you have eyes for is work and Ted.”

“He’s my godson!”

“And I’m your partner!” 

Harry snorted at him. “Oh, poor Draco, he’s not the centre of attention anymore now that the son of that blood-traitor of a cousin is part of Harry’s life. What a hardship.”

“You have no idea how lonely I felt! And then my father died and what did you do? Ignored me. I would have needed you.”

“You could have said something. You’re always so talkative.”

“You didn’t even ask! You just went off and assumed that everyone deals with grief the way you do-“

“-and how’s that?”

“By closing yourself off! By shoving away everyone who might be able to help you because you’re so strong and you can do it alone. I’m not capable of that. It was my father.”

“You hadn’t spoken to him in ten years!”

“He was still my father.”

“He was a Death Eater through and through.” Harry considered Draco for a second and his look was pure venom. “And you’re his spoilt rich son who goes off chasing the next best skirt when he doesn’t get all the attention he thinks he deserves because he’s a rich pure-blood and everyone’s favourite bad boy.” 

Draco felt like the air had been knocked from his lungs. Harry was furious, his eyes livid and he was pointing his wand at Draco who was desperately trying to blink away the tears. 

“Come on, Potter,” he spat. “Curse me already!”

“Yeah, imagine the headlines.”

Harry lowered his wand and turned around briskly. Draco couldn’t move. 

“Get out.”

“Harry, please-“ 

“Get out!” 

The emerald eyes that usually were so soft were drenched in anger, hurt and disappointment. Draco felt 17 years old again, standing in front of his father’s cell. 

Draco schooled his features. The tears subsided before they had been spilled. 

“I’ll just get my stuff.”

“Good. I’ll head out to fly. I want you gone when I come back.” 

With that, Harry Potter walked out of the room and out of Draco’s life.


	2. Going Down In Flames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco picks up the pieces of his life. The press doesn't take long to figure out what's going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for all the feels and the hurt. I know a few probably stopped reading because of the adultery and I respect that. For everyone still with me, please bear in mind that I can't live without Happy Endings. So rest assured!
> 
> Chapter title taken from the song of Three Doors Down of the same name.

Draco didn’t look back at Grimmauld Place when he apparated to Malfoy Manor. 

He refused to for he knew that when he did, he wouldn’t be able to leave. So he went back to his mother, back to the only other person who’d take him in after what he’d done. Plus, he had to tell her about her grandson. At least she’d be happy about that. 

“Draco, what a surpri-“ Narcissa froze halfway through her greeting as she saw Draco’s trunks and the look he must have worn. 

“Come on in. Do you want tea? Or something stronger?”

For a moment, Draco was awestruck by how far his mother had come after Lucius’s death. She had started anew, free from past baggage and she seemed genuinely happy. Compared to her former self, she had gone softer, too, was more in touch with her emotions.

“Firewhiskey. Make it a double. Or just give me the bottle.”

Narcissa nodded to Meppo who disappeared to fetch the alcohol while his mother led Draco to the sitting room. 

“Will Master Draco be staying in his old room?” quipped Oaky from the floor. 

Draco looked at his mother. “If I may.”

“Of course. Please bring his suitcases up to the room and prepare it.”

Oaky nodded and was off, leaving Draco and Narcissa in awkward silence until Meppo reappeared with a glass filled with amber liquid, the open bottle of Firewhiskey and a glass of tea for Narcissa. 

Draco downed his drink in one go, mostly for effect than for the burning sensation at the back of his throat. 

He could basically hear his mother thinking. She had known about Draco’s and Harry’s troubles, about how Harry had become distant and how Draco had started feeling alone. He hadn’t told her about Astoria, though. 

“Did you leave him?” 

Draco shook his head. “He threw me out.” No need for sweet talking. 

His mother’s eyes widened. “Why?”

“I deserved it.”

Narcissa raised an eyebrow. 

“I had an affair.”

“I would have believed Harry to be the kind of person to forgive such a mishap.”

Draco hesitated. Re-telling his story made it seem even worse. 

“He suspected something and called me out. I lied. I lied to his face and he knew it. But he played along.”

“He wanted to see whether you’d tell him yourself.”

“I wouldn’t have.” Draco hesitated again, eyeing the floor.

“But?”

“But she’s pregnant.”

Then, there was silence. 

“She’s keeping it?” Draco nodded. “And she’s sure it’s yours?” Another nod. 

“She’ll need money to take care of the child but don’t worry, mother, I will handle it.”

“So I am going to be a grandmother?”

Draco nodded and saw how his mother desperately tried to keep the smile from her face. She had basically given up on grandchildren of her own, had accepted Ted as part of the family – although hesitantly – and now she got what she had always wished for. 

She caught herself quickly and Draco was grateful for it.

“I take it you told Harry and he threw you out?”

Another nod. “Other things were said. I accused him of ignoring me; he called me a spoilt little pure-blood with attention deficit.” Draco finally looked up at the blonde witch. “His exact words were,” he swallowed, “get out.”

Narcissa’s eyes widened. She hadn’t forgotten either. 

“You are welcome to stay for as long as you like. Tomorrow’s Saturday, we could invite that lady of yours to lunch and discuss how we will handle things.”

Draco nodded for what felt like the hundredth time and headed upstairs. 

He had finished unpacking when Oaky knocked and entered. 

“Master Draco, Mrs Granger-Weasley is here to see you.”

Draco was so surprised that he dropped the book he was holding. 

“Send her up.”

And really, a few minutes later, Hermione entered his room and without warning pulled him into a wordless hug. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked, bewildered. 

“Draco, you’re my friend as well and if you think that just because Harry is behaving like a three-year-old I will stop being your friend, you‘re not half as clever as I gave you credit for.”

Draco’s heart swelled. Damn those noble Gryffindors. 

He smiled briefly at the witch. “I take it you know, then?”

She nodded. “I thought you wanted to tell him?”

“I did. But I didn’t. When he called me on it, I lied. After that, it was too late.” He put the last book on the shelf. “I was about to end it. I had, in fact. On Monday I would have returned to the field, I wouldn’t have had any reason to see Astoria anymore.”

“But she’s pregnant.”

“My mother is rather happy.” Draco actually found it in him to sneer. “She has the opportunity to be a grandmother after all.”

“And you’re going to be a father. How is it going to work?”

Draco shrugged and sank down onto the bed. “I don’t know. I’ll provide the money probably, but I won’t stay with Astoria just because of the child. I’m not in love with her.”

Hermione laughed lightly. “I was almost sure you’d go and marry her because of some ancient family tradition.”

“I could never marry anyone except Harry.” Draco hated how resigned his voice sounded. And how easily the confession had come to him – but he didn’t want to dwell on that just now.

“Oh, Draco…” Hermione sat down next to him and gave him another hug. They remained like this for a while until Hermione spoke again. 

“You said on Monday you would have returned to the field. Why _would have_?”

“Hermione, I can’t go back to working that closely with Harry! He hates me right now, and our working relationship is built on mutual trust. I’ve lost that. And I can’t face him every day. I can’t right now.” The witch patted his back and waited for him to go on. “I’m thinking about signing up for the Hit Wizards. They’ve been courting me for quite some time.”

“Hit Wizard? Isn’t that a little too dangerous? You have a child to think about now.”

“It’s Astoria’s child. And when has my life ever been peaceful and out of harm’s way?”

Even she couldn’t argue with that. 

“Alright. But even if Harry wants to cut you from his life, it doesn’t mean that I want to, do you understand? I will come by and help and talk and everything I have to do. Are we clear?”

Draco nodded and this time, it was him who initiated the hug. 

XXX

He wasn’t able to sleep that night. There were too many thoughts, too many memories, too many possibilities to give Draco any peace. 

So he worked on his application for the Hit Wizards, went out for an extra-long run across the Manor’s grounds and after a shower and breakfast headed to the Ministry. 

The chief secretary almost suffered a heart attack when he handed over his application and within ten minutes he was inside his potential new boss’s office. 

Within fifteen more minutes, Daniel Overstreet welcomed him as the newest Hit Wizard. He would start on Monday with an incredible pay-raise and the infamous bed in St. Mungo’s that belonged solely to him. He cleared out his office in the Auror department and returned to Malfoy Manor, eerily calm in his actions. It wasn’t even noon yet.

“Astoria is coming by for lunch,” Narcissa announced and Draco took his belongings to his room and readied his box for Monday. 

Lunch went better than expected. Astoria and his mother got along nicely, and the witch was fully aware that Draco would keep away rather than marry her or even move in with her. They formulated an agreement: Astoria would continue working for another three months, and then take a maternity leave that Draco was paying for. 

Narcissa decided to help out with everything else. “Only the best for my grandchild,” she stated and Draco had to hold back the eye-roll.

When the afternoon rolled around, his mother left the house for work and Draco was at a loss. Harry and he had planned to play Quidditch that afternoon with Ron and George. That was out of the picture now, obviously. 

After a solid half an hour of pacing in front of the fireplace, Draco had the ultimate idea to both prepare for his new position and take his mind off his new single life: Agility training. His elves even volunteered to help. 

XXX 

When Draco and the elves returned just before sunset from the grounds, he saw Helena was waiting for him. His heart sank and suddenly, he was freezing despite the warm day. 

Even Harry’s owl was glaring at him as he took the parchment with a trembling hand. 

_I just learned that you’re transferring to the Hit Wizards. I understand your decision and frankly, I’m glad. Still, it’s typical for the Slytherin to run.  
I’m writing because Robards needs to release an official statement and he wants to quote both you and me. So please, as soon as possible, send me something useful._

Harry was still furious, it seemed. No hello, no good-bye, nothing. Draco took a deep breath and returned to his room and contemplated his word. 

_Hello Harry,_  
You’ve always known I’m a Slytherin; it shouldn’t come as a shock then.   
I’ve written two statements, one including our break-up, and one excluding it. Choose whichever you prefer. Just rest assured that the Prophet will catch on eventually. 

Draco hesitated. How should he sign? “Love, Draco”? In the end, he settled on “ _Still yours, Draco_ ” and knew it was incredibly cheesy and would tarnish his reputation – he doubted, however, that Harry would ever show it to anyone. 

XXX

That night, Draco did get some sleep but the question which quote Harry would chose had him tossing and turning at four in the morning. 

He jogged, he showered, he ate, he prepared for Monday and then, finally, the newspaper owl swooped in. 

_DRACO MALFOY JOINS HIT WIZARDS_

_As it seems, the Trouble Trio will yet remain divided: Gawain Robards, head of the Aurors, announced yesterday evening that Auror Draco Malfoy has transferred to the Hit Wizards. “It’s a great loss for our department, though I don’t expect it to be permanent. Furthermore, they can use a wizard like Draco Malfoy.”_  
Even Harry Potter commented on the news: “Of course I’m not too happy that Draco’s leaving, but it’s his decision and he has been thinking about becoming a Hit Wizard for a longer time now. I know he’ll be great.”  
According to the man in question, the job itself had always appealed to him. “It’s the next challenge,” the Department‘s official statement cites Malfoy. “The Hit Wizards are doing important work and I want to be a part of that, even if it means I have to leave the Aurors for now.”  
Draco Malfoy has already received his own bed at St. Mungo’s – so just because the Trouble Trio might have disbanded doesn’t mean there won’t be any more drama, action and thrill in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. 

Draco lowered the paper. He didn’t know what he was feeling. Or rather, what he should be feeling. He figured that Harry would sooner face the Dark Lord again than comment on his private life (voluntarily, on top of that). Yet this merely meant that they had to endure two scandals instead of one, now that him transferring had already made the headlines. 

The blonde shook his head. It didn’t matter. The papers would write what they wanted and Harry will still have thrown him out. 

“ _Get out._ ” 

It was still ringing in his ears. 

Draco refused to let the tears come. He had a new job to focus on. 

XXX

It took the Daily Prophet two weeks to catch up. Two weeks went by until one particularly snoopy journalist had put two and two together and had drawn the right conclusions. 

Harry seriously contemplated heading back to bed when he picked up that morning’s newspaper and read “ _OUT OF LOVE: NO SIGHT OF POTTER AT MALFOY’S SICKBED_ ” sprawled all over the front page. 

However, the big meeting that was waiting for him in the office made him stay and read on. 

_After his heroic actions two days ago, when he sought out and incapacitated the man who had made an assassination attempt on Minister Shacklebolt (the Prophet has reported), Draco Malfoy has been confided to his hospital bed at St. Mungo’s._  
He entertained several visitors: Ron Weasley and his wife Hermione, Malfoy’s mother, even several house-elves took the time to drop by yesterday.   
Only one person was mysteriously missing: Harry Potter.   
What reason could motivate The Boy Who Lived Again to leave his beloved partner Draco Malfoy alone on his sickbed? The answer is simple: That Draco Malfoy isn’t Potter’s beloved partner anymore.   
Ever since Malfoy’s transferal to the Hit Wizards, Harry and he were nowhere to be seen – at least together. On weekends they could usually be spotted in the Granger-Weasley’s backyard, racing each other on broomsticks. The two past weekends, Malfoy was missing from the scenery nor was his mother Narcissa seen visiting her son and son-in-law at Grimmauld Place.   
A little investigation unearthed a piece of information that will come as a shock to the Wizarding community: Draco Malfoy has moved back in with his mother at Malfoy Manor and left Harry and his godson Theodore in London.   
It is safe to say that the most controversial relationship of our time hasn’t survived. The reasons, however, remain in the dark. The fact that both of them have been keeping quiet about their breakup, on the other hand, speaks volumes.   
Who left whom and why? Speculations are running high: Did the unlikely pair eventually find they didn’t belong together? Did they fight? Has someone fallen for another party? Will we soon see one of them in the arms of anoth- 

Harry threw the paper down and ended up spilling his juice all over the kitchen table. He cursed and was about to call for Liope – then stopped dead. Liope wasn’t there anymore and neither was Draco. 

After two weeks one should think he’d have internalised that. 

XXX

Harry rushed into the men’s room, chose a cubicle in the corner furthest from the door and sank down on the closed toilet seat. 

_Breathe, Harry. Breathe._

He should have stayed home. Everyone was asking questions. His colleagues, the staff, and every passer-by – all those people who had no idea about him, who didn’t really know him, were asking questions. 

“Harry, are you okay?”   
“Mr Potter, is it true?”

“Harry, what happened? Why didn’t you say anything?”   
“Why did you guys break up? You were so great together! Remember that time…”

The last ones were the worst. Harry had just escaped Neville who was going on about a camping holiday they had undertaken. Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna, Ginny, Dean, Seamus, Theodore, Draco and Harry, camping in the countryside. It had been Dean’s idea after he had learned that neither Draco nor Neville nor Harry had ever been camping with their families. 

Out in the woods they tried to keep it as Muggle as possible, which had caused Draco to continuously sneer and complain in a rather Draco-ish manner. It had been one of the best times in Harry’s life. The ten of them had gotten along great, everyone was happy; Draco was so funny and secretly enjoying everything rather much.

They had kissed under the stars and Harry remembered thinking, _I want to kiss him until the day I die._

But. 

_Harry, breathe._

On the outside, he was fine. Of course he was a bit down, but no one suspected anything worse. In reality, Harry had never hurt more, not once in his life. Burying the people killed in the Battle of Hogwarts hadn’t hurt as much as losing Draco. 

Harry found it hard to breathe, the house was empty, their – no, his – bed was empty and Harry had taken up sleeping on the sofa because only there he was able to fall asleep. 

But as severely as Harry missed Draco, he couldn’t overlook what he’d done to him. 

An affair. Not only a simple slip, a one night stand that he could have dealt with. But Draco had proven that he didn’t trust Harry enough to be honest about his feelings. 

Harry might have become distant and true, ever since Teddy was living with them, their sex life had suffered. Yet what had Draco expected if he didn’t say anything? If he didn’t ask, complain or what else he could have done?

Harry wiped his cheek with his sleeve. 

He had cried far too much for a man his age in the past two weeks. He really should stop crying. Draco was gone; he had a child – a child! – to take care of now. 

That was the other aspect: Draco hadn’t betrayed him with a man but with a woman. 

So Harry wasn’t enough for him. Draco needed more than Harry was capable and would always be capable of giving. 

_Get a grip, Harry. You had a wonderful time with Draco but it came crashing down after all. You have to move on. Move on, Harry._

But Harry couldn’t even move away from the toilet seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... is it bad that I'm happy for Narcissa despite everything?


	3. A for Adultery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I never realised when I wrote this how touchy a subject adultery really is... Loved the discussions the past two chapters kicked off, though! It's great to see that what you write resonates with readers :)

“You’re good to go and return to work, Mr Malfoy.”

“Can’t you keep me a little longer? If what I hear is true, the mob of reporters will crush me the minute I leave and I’ll end up here again sooner rather than later.”

The doctor smiled. “Mr Malfoy, your boss has taken care of that. He pulled a few strings and you can return to Malfoy Manor via floo.”

Draco let out a heavy sigh. “Thank you.” He had seen that morning’s Prophet and literally fallen off the bed. 

Everything had gone so smoothly. He had been able to evade all questions about his “better half” until now and no one had suspected a thing. 

Until Draco had decided to pull a stunt that landed him in St. Mungo’s. Well, and saved Kingsley’s life, which is why, Draco mused, that the hospital allowed him to floo home. 

“Our pleasure, Mr Malfoy. Just keep saving people’s lives.”

“Don’t worry doctor, I’ll be back before you have the chance to miss me.”

The physician smiled and left Draco to pack his few belongings and go back to Malfoy Manor. 

“Draco, whatever you do, don’t leave the house.”   
“Mother, it’s a pleasure to see you, too.”

Draco brushed off a little bit of ash that had remained on his cloak. 

“Sorry, Draco, but I am more than a little stressed. There’s a horde of reporters in front of our doors and they’re not shying away from trespassing. I’m a minute short of calling the Aurors on them.”

“They will go away. Eventually.”

His mother snorted. 

XXX

Over the next few days, the reporters didn’t disband, much to Draco’s dismay. He couldn’t even go jogging anymore without one or two journalists running after him, firing questions and was reduced to wearing a concealing charm on his own grounds, even if it painfully reminded him of his eighth year at Hogwarts.

Things weren’t better at work where no fence with special wards separated him from the vultures. 

Draco couldn’t turn a corner without worrying about reporters. 

So on Thursday afternoon, four days after he’d been released from hospital, the Slytherin snapped. 

He was trying to cross the Atrium in a flock of Hit Wizards (his colleagues had been rather helpful this entire time) when one of the about 30 journalists had recognised him. 

“There’s Draco Malfoy!” 

Then, every single one of the 30 people was storming towards him. When his friends drew their wands, he knew he had to put an end to this. 

“Mr Malfoy, will you please answer a question!”

“It’ll only take a few minutes, don’t worry, sir.”   
“You can’t hide forever!”

“ENOUGH,” Draco roared. He was thinking, fast, as he felt a gaze upon him that he would pick out in a room of thousands. A quick sweep of the room proved it: Harry was watching; apparently he had been successfully trying to sneak out with the help of a few Aurors. 

“Mr Malfoy-“

“Shut it.” The woman fell silent at once. 

“I will comment once and only once and only if I get your word in front of all these innocent bystanders who can stop pretending that they’re not listening,” several people cast their eyes to the ground, “that after this, you will stop sleeping in front of my house and climbing over the fence trying to catch me when I jog and following me around at work. The same holds true for Harry. Do I make myself clear?”

Several nods, some even said “Yes”. 

Draco took an annoyed breath, steeling himself. “I’m only going to say it once and you will not interrupt me. The rumours are true: Harry and I are no longer together. We broke up the Friday before I transferred to the Hit Wizards and yes, our breakup is part of the reason I transferred but I truly had been contemplating changing departments for a longer time.” Draco sighed. “As to the reasons behind the end of our relationship…” 

He could sense Harry’s alarmed gaze but Draco would never dream of playing down his role. He might even be about to take the fall for the entire thing – why exactly he was doing so he didn’t want to question. “I’m the one to blame. I was unfaithful. On top of that, I lied about it. I lost Harry’s trust and I can fully understand that he can’t be with me without knowing he can trust me. I regret my mistake deeply but I cannot undo the past. So both Harry Potter as well as I are currently single. And now, leave me and Harry in peace!” 

He tore through the crowd, not daring to glance at where Harry had been standing. 

His colleagues followed in silence. It wasn’t awkward, though, and when they left the Ministry and were out of sight, Peter actually patted him on the back. 

“Well played, Draco.”

“What can I say, it’s the Malfoy charm.”

Peter laughed. “And that of the former Death Eater.”

Draco sneered. “Like I said, the Malfoy charm.” 

Even the others joined in their laughter. 

XXX

The moments after Draco’s big moment found Harry in the restroom, sitting on the closed toilet again. 

_Breathe, Harry. Just keep on breathing._

Why had Draco taken the blame? He could have easily twisted the story in his favour. Now, he was going to be publicly crucified for his infidelity while Harry remained everyone’s darling. 

Harry felt his heart ache and willed the pain away. But it wouldn’t work so all he could do was pull himself together and get out there again. He had a job to do. 

XXX

Two weeks later found Draco magicking a big red “A” on his robes. He’d had enough and needed to get into the face of every single one of these arses that shot him derisive looks every day or who muttered “whore” under their breath.

“What’s that?” his mother asked when he joined her for breakfast. 

“I’m acknowledging the Prophet’s stand, mother.”

Narcissa raised a questioning eyebrow. 

“A stands for adultery. It used to be a Muggle convention to brand adulterers and it’s a reference to a book I’ve never read, but ever since that columnist suggested it, I can’t get the thought out of my head.”   
His mother briefly smiled until her look turned into empathy. 

“You know that they won’t keep it up forever?”

“What, calling me a whore in national media?” She nodded and all Draco could do was sigh.

XXX

The next morning, Harry choked on his tea. Draco and he had been the talk of the Prophet ever since Draco’s scene in the Atrium, so the headline shouldn’t have shocked Harry. It was, however, the picture of Draco, defiant Slytherin smirk on his lips, wearing the red “A” on his robes like a medal rather than a chip on his shoulder, which surprised him.

_MALFOY PUBLICLY OWN UP TO HIS SINS_

_As it seems, Draco Malfoy isn’t as rueful concerning his infidelity as he made the Wizarding Community believe: Yesterday he was spotted parading around the Ministry with a scarlet letter on his robes. “A” for adultery – what a bold and blunt message to send…_

Harry felt no need to continue. He knew that Draco’s action had nothing to do with him being proud of what he’s done and had everything to do with the vultures publicly feeding off his crucified body. 

It was so Malfoy of him that Harry actually smiled briefly before the feeling in his chest took over and he shoved his uneaten breakfast away from him. 

XXX

Draco blinked himself into consciousness. It took him a while to realise that he wasn’t actually in his bed but at St. Mungo’s and the fact that the hospital bed was so familiar to him should have worried him more than it did.

The nurse in the room went to get his doctor. It was the same one who had taken him to the floo that day when the Prophet first had gotten wind of his and Harry’s break-up. 

“Mr Malfoy, how are you feeling?”

“Like someone ran me over with a Muggle car. Which, if I remember correctly, they actually did.”

The doctor – James Nuwanda, his name tag supplied – laughed. 

“They did. Lucky for you, we could mend every bone they broke and you’re fit for duty.”

Draco put his head on his hand. 

“Do you think I’ll get away with heavy drinking tonight or would that be counter-productive?”

Nuwanda smiled. “Depends on what the heavy drinking would lead to.” There was a fire in his eyes that Draco only dared to interpret. 

“What about intense physical activity?” he replied smoothly, looking up at the doctor from under his lashes, because – why not? Nuwanda was rather attractive. If he didn’t jump on the innuendo, Draco could always back down. 

“I’d recommend supervision by a trained physician.” Nuwanda winked and Draco smiled his most predatory smile. 

“You volunteering?”

“Maybe.” But the look in Nuwanda’s eyes spoke a different story.

“Why don’t you leave your address then and I’ll seek you out later?”

“My pleasure, Mr Malfoy.”

And sure enough, between his discharge-papers for the office, Draco found a slip of parchment with an address and an “ _I get off at 8_ ” scribbled underneath. 

XXX

The evening he spent with Nuwanda was a revelation for Draco. For the first time in weeks, the Slytherin managed to ban The Boy Who Lived His Own Life Now from his mind and actually feel pleasure again. 

Draco was actually able to sleep for more than five hours that night. 

The next evening found him in a Muggle gay bar. 

He had tasted blood and he was yearning for more.

 

END OF PART V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for bearing with me throughout this very heart-wrenching part! And I solemnly swear that this will end well, however bleak the situation looks right now!
> 
> As always, comments and kudos make my day :) Feel free to share your thoughts!
> 
>  
> 
> PS: Dr Nuwanda’s name inspired by the “Dead Poet Society”. I should stop letting movies or TV shows I watch shortly before writing something influence me like this :)

**Author's Note:**

> Gosh, I don't know, but I so feel for Draco.... 
> 
> I live for kudos, comments, and the likes :) Let me know what you think!


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